Lost

Yesterday, I found out about the death of a friend. While it is true we have lost touch since her ex-communication from us, it had never stopped me from thinking about her, of her, and wondering how she was doing. 

You see, my friend has anorexia. And died from its complications. This has a huge impact on me because we were there when we saw her reduce to skin and bones. We attempted an intervention but it failed. Oh how it failed. 

And when she cut us off after that, i always felt that the "intervention" that went wrong... could have been done better. You can see why now, that I feel partly responsible for her untimely passing. 

I know it's irrational, I know there's nothing I can do now. Can't help but feel guilt and sadness rolled in a big hard ball that i'm forcing myself to swallow. 

Goodbye Yuwen. You're beautiful, you have always been--inside and outside. Thank you for being in my life, no matter how transient. 

Lay your inner demons to rest now...